drama confluence

Wow okay, yesterday hit like a sack of nails.

Item A: Pinko, who has recently (since August) become a very good and special friend to me, is going to be putting up with her abusive ex-stepfather for Thanksgiving. That sounds awful. We were going to have her visit us the weekend after so she could shake off the nastiness a bit, but

Item B: Twigs' boyfriend's boss, who he was very close with died in a plane crash the other night. So we all thought it would be best if Twigs could have a little time where there wasn't anything going on, so we canceled the weekend plans with Pinko.

Item C: It wasn't easy to cancel those plans, her being pretty emotional, and me being emotionally sensitive. I negotiated as best I could, but Twigs, Cran and I thought it would still be for the best to put them off. It's also a part of my own emotional well-being to be able to break news like this without crumbling, and trying to resolve the situation by forcing my will in secret. (example: Oh? Pink can't visit? Well I won't tell her, so she'll show up here anyway and we'll just deal with it and it'll be slightly awkward [and likely, everyone will be unhappy]. And then we'll all feel weird, and my self-esteem will take another hit, ensuring that I try to do crap like that again rather than keeping all parties informed of the situation, being realistic, respecting everyone, and having a not-as-instantly-gratifying but ultimately better resolution. No! No more. Tanuki, be a man, you asshat.)

Item D: The FA cub porn drama. It doesn't affect me, it affects like three people I know, one of which is an artist, and he has plans. Still, lots of name-calling and general needless meanness. Turbinedivinity posted an awesome journal that just said "hey can we stop vilifying people basked on their kinks." Yeah we can. I posted a little but of tanuki babyfur art just for the hell of it and because it would kinda please my babyfur friends, tried to make it satire in the beginning, backed off when I slightly offended a friend, bleh bleh. The response was mostly positive, or "man i hate cub porn but this is cute." I'm not sure what I accomplished, if anything. But whatever, it was cute.

Anyway, onward to Thanksgiving!

Small Note to Address the "Death of LJ": I'm not on facebook, I don't want to be. I am on twitter, because it's a lovely little thing, but there's no way I can write as much as I'd like to (and I seldom try to). I MIGHT join a little social network starting up called Diaspora, because I like its idea about splitting up your friends into specific milieus. FA is and probably always will be my main social network, if you could call it that (art is social!).

As always, I'll keep posting on LJ, but the standard warning applies that I mostly post grievances. I got it my head at some point that the great universal spirit reads LJ and that I was going to give It what-for.

No but seriously, I want to open it up a bit. I could definitely stand to keep track of events better, so I can foresee when I'm overloading myself and better direct my social energies. WOO.
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    gay gay gay gay


URGH, WEDDINGS. I am pretty okay with attending weddings, but traveling to Oklahoma and back in the space of a weekend should be a very rare event. It's happened about 3 times over the past two months. Not fun. This time, there was the added expense of vertigo a hotel room, and I manage to bust a hole in my driver-side mirror by clipping a traffic barrel. I was driving into the sun at 7 am, looking for a sign so I could get on the highway. And I got no more than 3 hours of sleep a night because Cranberry's bro stays up all night with friends, and I can never sleep very well in hotel beds. For some reason, budget hotels are only offering double rooms these days, so we either squeeze together in a full-size, or sleep separately. Either way, we squirm all night, or I'm left without a big ol' warm cuddlefox. =<

Anyway, to stop bitching for a sec (haha rare on LJ), the wedding was fantastic. Aside from C's parents and some extended family, we were the only ones on the groom side. I felt flattered, but kind of lonely about that. Moving out of Arlington really alienates you, something I've felt too, as well as anyone else who's moved from their hometown in pursuit or an SO or a job or whatever.

It was a cute, lightly religious ceremony, done in a fancy old building at OU, they kept the colors simple, dark gray and ivory, accents of purple. We were seated with the bride's friends, all from OK and TX, and hit it off pretty well. One girl shared her intensive Braums Ice Cream Ritual with us, we're gonna remember that forever. (fold a paper towel in half, place bowl on top, fill to just about the bowl's rim, drown in chocolate syrup, procure water for washing down, eat... it was in the delivery)

Oh, also, OU has some sort of fat-chick-sphinx statue that's actually pretty cute-interesting. =3 Didn't get a picture due to the waning light. And there don't seem to be any pictures online. Oh well, guess it's kind of a niche feature.

Got to hang out with C a little, and as always, we remember that we miss each other lots. He said he'd come down to us sometime, hee. <3

Slept fitfully at hotel, got up at 6 for breakfast, took off shortly after. Got to visit Pinko, Tigerpillow and Raiku back in DFW, always fun times. Then more fitful sleep and to home. I had Monday off but was largely useless, I was sleepy and had a headache. However, I did acquire a cheapcheap tablet computer for tinkering! It's got win XP on it for now, thanks to Wyte's external cd-rom, but none of the tablet parts work. I need tablet edition XP, I'm told. Oh well, it's an adventure!
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    hungry hungry

omg weekend

Basically, Pinko, Tigerpillow, and Raiku came down, and we tore the town up. (by which i mean we ate a lot and played Munchkin and ate a lot) They're fun people. We only met back in August, but I feel like I've known them a good while. I actually got to hug Raiku on several occasions; he's been shy about it in the past and has a bum leg, so I should not NUKIHUG him, which he is afraid of. But he gave me hugs and it was squishy awesome and stuff. Achievement unlocked.

We hit up Inner Space and saw some bats and CAVE BACON (look it up), the capitol building and saw some... offices... and cool architecture. That trio has an interesting and balanced dynamic that seems to work for them. Lots of drawing went on too, which is pleasing, and everyone loved Beemer. And Beemer loves everyone. x3

Spent last night chilling with Wyte and Renno and learning about MINECRAFT, which looks to be a pretty evil game. I was tired, but everything was pretty cool. It was a great night to get shocked and embarrassed. Though it turned out to be nothing to be embarrassed about. W&R, you guys know. There's a relationship between how much something turns me on and how weird it seems like it will be for other people. I can't even say the word "fat" without my adrenaline going up a bit.

So I got home and was ready to pass out, and I notice someone on twitter has a recolored version of a picture I made as their icon. First reaction was OMG ART THEFT. But it was on a guy who I really wouldn't expect it from. Turns out this Guy A got it from Guy B, who had asked a while back if I was going to make it into a meme. I said "no, not yet... i'll think about it" and he apparently went ahead, making icons for himself and Guy A. It's okay, I just told him to ask next time. No harm, but that was a mildly weird episode.
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Almost the same ol' song + dance: Friday, drive to Arlington. Saturday, drive to Oklahoma City, attend wedding. Sunday, drive back to Arlington. I took Monday off to pad against the "i don't wanna drive home" complaint on Sunday. It went well, with one wrench.

We start driving out of Arlington on Saturday morning so we will have plenty of time when we get to the hotel in The City, we can just relax. I notice, driving down Collins, that I can't see parts of cars. I can see alright, so I just let this pass. Cran remembers that I forgot something at the house, so I drop her at CVS while I go back one block to pick up my suit jacket.

I can't see more of cars. I can't see traffic lights. I can reposition my eyes to see them momentarily, but the moment I look at something, it disappears. Then I realize what's going on. It's a migraine, and I haven't had one since I was 16, which was 13 years ago. I had taken some Advil for a slight headache earlier on, and apparently here's why. I start crying at this point, one because I know that searing head pain usually follows this, and if so, I'm going to miss the wedding. We're both going to miss it, because though she could, Cranberry wouldn't go without me. And two, I get really emotional during these things and tend to cry for no reason. (well, there are valid reasons: pain, bits of my world dropping out like a glitchy video game; but I know these things are not going to kill me, rationally i shouldn't be sobbing)

I grab my jacket and drive back to the CVS, and I can see things if I focus to the right of them. It's not safe, but it's only a block. I walk in, fumbling into stuff because three-quarters of my sight is gone, find Cran, and tell her what's going on, and she drives back to the house. My vision comes back after about 30 minutes. It's weird, there's a void in my sight, but you can't see it. It's not like one of my eyes isn't functioning, it apparently has to do with processing the sight. I can't close "the bad eye" and see alright, it's in both eyes. Around the edges of the void are zigzag shimmery lines. I can't look into the void, there's nothing there, no information. It is replaced with what my brain expects to be there, hence cars "disappearing" while the road is still there, but if I concentrate, I can kind of represent it as a colorless beige.

I decide to wait a bit and see if the headache hits. Sometimes it doesn't. This time it was very mild. I took more Advil, and we stopped at Bueno for a bite and hit the road. Two hours off schedule, but we hit the road, get there with enough time to scramble into formal attire and get to the wedding site.

Pretty standard wedding: We sit among a bunch of people we don't know, typical Christian pleasantries happen, then food and dancing. Two fun things: They had a photobooth, and we got pictures. And there was good food and dancing. I danced. I can't dance, but I danced and it felt good. Cran was proud of me, especially as us, and her mother, were the only ones actually dancing from her immediate family. Wahahaha. I met her cousin, who she hadn't seen in 10 years. He's the black sheep, and I love black sheep. We talked about stuff for a good while, and exchanged a few hugs (surprising since i don't usually hug "normals" but he seemed the type to like it =D). Cran and I left late, hit an IHOP to sober up, then back to the hotel room.

Hotel sleep sucks, but we got up, got continental breakfasted, drove to Arlington, dinner with my parents (my dad was being a slight grouch because we pulled him away from the Cowboys game, and I'd forgotten it was THAT time of year), then back to Austin, arriving 10:30pm ish. Fuck yeah, doing it again next month for another wedding, but this one is for one of my best friends, so I'll probably enjoy it more.

I'm off work today, originally to rest, but now I have a possible job opportunity to check out. Here's hoping that it goes well!
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    so tired omg

dear lord

I had a pretty interesting week. Quickly: Had a bite/stinging welt/thing on my side. Rennoda poked it with stuff and drained it of pus. After a couple days, it was still gnarly looking, so we went to go to a clinic to see about it. That happened to be the same night that the tropical storm hit, and we were in a tornado warning, so the clinic was closed when we got there.

Next day, I head to the clinic, doctor says "oh hai, abscess, let's cut you open and drain you." I tell the doctor that I get these all the time, and they usually don't get this bad. He says it's probably staph. Gives me antibiotics and creams and bandages it up. I come back in two days to get the bandages off and the packing out (this is all pretty damn painful), and he says "well it was not staph."

It was a bacillus that grew in their culture, so there's a chance that I had anthrax. Whoa, huh? WTF. I'm put on heavier-duty antibiotics (i cannot have caffeine on these, it interferes with 'em), and instructions to stop taking the stuff I was taking.

I have to clean the wound a lot and bandage it up every day, but I think it's healing. The tape and stuff have really taken a toll on my skin, I think that's the worst part. It's all pink and tender in those areas.

Thanks to this though, I got to try out a couple restaurants: Chucho's in Pflugerville, which is a pretty decent tacqueria (i got a torta milanesa, a sandwich with a thin layer of fried beef, oh god so good), and they hold some sort of grand champion award for their salsa verde. It was indeed pretty good. Then Ka-Prow at Howard and 35, which is a pan-Asian place, but it feels a lot homier than a Pei Wei or such. They have gluten-free beer and sushi, amazing.

SO between the maybe-anthrax and stress from work and stress from home and stress from generally being myself, I was ready to just lose it last week.

This week: better so far. =3

I made a bunch of sketches and this one is my favorite.
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Specifically, I #suck. I forgot to mention that the sunday night shindig happened over at Chris and Rennoda's place. I suggested beer that night because I wouldn't have to work the next day, and it turned into this awesome thing where Harashi showed up outta nowhere and Thane made awesome chili. I wanna thank y'all for having my drunk, forgetful ass over that night. I had a bit much.

Anyway, sorry for not mentioning it in the entry below. I feel like six donkeys, you guys.

weekend in drink reviews

NOTE TO SELF: RE-DO YOUR ICONS SERIOUSLY. These are almost all from two character revisions ago.

I had an awesome weekend. Mostly because I wanted to use the holiday on Monday as an excuse to be rather inebriated Sunday night. I ended up trying out a lot of things, and the day got better. Let's see....

SATURDAY, Cranberry and I joined Erin and Alyx for dinner at Mother's, a vegetarian place in Hyde Park. The food was actually rather awesome. I had a very flavorful gumbo, Cran had massive nachos, and Erin's stuffed pepper was lovely. The waitress was incredibly friendly, and we stuck around for well over an hour. The company was great too. Alyx is an interesting little person, she is very easy to get along with and makes you feel welcome. I need to draw her and her adopted fursona, a porcupine. It really helps that she's a punk-ish girl, I think they're so very pretty. We had yogurt afterward at Fresh Cup, a decent self-serve yogurt clone.

SUNDAY, we joined a mysterious figure at IKEA (okay, Twigs' cousin who works at IKEA, we were using her discount), and got the entryway console table and buffet with shelving that we've been wanting for a while. I worry about buying so much furniture for an apartment, as I have no idea if we're staying or not. We won't know for a while. Anyway, we had lunch with her at Friday's afterward, and she said she was seriously thinking about visiting art night. She's not a furry, but likes furry! That's cool enough. We discussed which fursonas she might use, (also we discussed the potential levels of crazy and immaturity in the fandom), and and

SUNDAY NIGHT oh man. Harashi came down from Waco, Pockets and Shadow came over and made chili, and so much alcohol was had. The details of the evening are not so clear but the flavors were very memorable.

Sho Chiku Bai nigori sake: Bluh. Cheap, and tastes like it. Should be smooth, but suffers an unfortunate sharpness that interrupts the flow. Starts good and finishes good though.

Left Hand Milk Stout: A stiff, creamy stout beer. The experience is kind of like having a Guinness and a shot of heavy cream. Delicious, sweet, heavy.

Regia lager: Sharp, clean, and mellow. I'm not much for lagers but I picked this one up on a Spec's employee recommendation. It hit the right notes and hit them well. Comes in an almost laughably generic 32 oz bottle.

Sho Chiku Bai ginjo sake: SCB can be forgiven for their nigori, because the ginjo is EXCELLENT. Serve it cold, and it will hit dry ricey notes and finish really mellow. I managed to get Shadow to try this, and I think he liked it. From now on, this is my go-to sake for when I want to introduce people to the drink.

Moonstone Asian pear sake: It was okay. I think pear isn't a great flavor to pair with sake, but it blended well enough. The aftertaste was too sweet, and the flavors take a moment to come together. I drank it cold, but this may well be a warm sake.

Crispin honey and maple ciders: Unearthily delicious. Gluten-free too! Only got a sip, but it was a great sip.

Pockets brought some soda that was really complex. The flavors didn't marry, but it was distinctly cola, coffee, cinnamon, and cayenne, in that order. Interesting! I drank one with a burger today, it worked really well.

MONDAY I worked on a commission all day. I wish I had more to show for it, but I have the sketch down at least and should be ready to color tomorrow.

That's all I can remember. To sleep now!
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jeez ok

Is there a script that'll bug me if I haven't posted to LJ in a week? It's probably in the settings. Oh god. I've been too busy to update this damn thing, but it's still a wonderful way of keeping in touch. Tuck, I love your entries. Personal and short and sweet, and I always get the compulsion to write way too much.

Let's identity crisis. After that staggered off-and-on vacation to DFW (i was up there about a week, then back, then back there for a weekend), where I didn't really do a whole lot except hang out with a few people, I really miss the place. I had to journey all around it to meet some friends, and made new ones. It should be as frustrating as Houston is, traffic-wise (i really despise long drives). But with my phone acting as a GPS and traveling off peak times and being semi-familiar with the maze of highways, it was not bad. I suddenly have real friends up there, and ones that have potential to be really close. I never had real friends up there, and I lived there for the majority of my life. Such is the way of the recovering social phobic, I guess. But I consider myself an Austin guy now. I intend to live here until they kick me out, it's as nice and friendly a place as I could ask for. What to do? (i'll probably make more frequent trips up north, maybe a weekend every couple months) (also entice the nice fatfurs i met to come down here with Round Rock Donuts)

Let's drawing? Apparently I am lazy, says the sketchblog. I really haven't had the time to sketch like I usually do in the past couple weeks. And my brain has been stopped up with all manner of other anxieties, also making it hard to write or be social. I had to suddenly give a talk on database management, I had a brief financial meltdown, I had a sudden and unexpected marital sticking point coinciding with our 8th anniversary. All was resolved by the end of the day with wine and hugs. I've been waking up at 5 a.m. to get work done, which works, but I spend at least half the time internet-zoning. I don't get to do this enough. I am working on an awesome personal picture and I finished one for Whines. Did you know: Inspired, free art for friends is the most fulfilling thing I can think of right now. I need to get back to the THIRTY DAYS CHALLENGE which I officially stopped doing like four days in. Schtoooopid tanoookie. The personal picture is pretty much done (it's simple) but I need to write a brief TF narrative to go with it.

Let's music. I picked up Ratatat's LP3 and LP4, their third and fourth albums, I love them. Perfect muse music. The Arcade Fire's "The Suburbs" is about suburbs and it is beautiful, and a lot of the Texas suburban landscape comes through, because the lyricist actually grew up in The Woodlands. It has some really brilliant moments if you know what they're talking about ("the city was built to change" "they keep erasing the streets we used to live in" "let's go talk to the modern kids, they'll eat right out of your hands using big words they don't understand" "couldn't find my house in the dark" "sometimes i wonder if we weren't so small that we could never get away from the sprawl" "the music divides us into tribes") This morning, I started the album as I walked out of my apartment to the bus stop, and it ended at the moment I arrived at my desk. Whoa. (the last track is a ghostly reprise of the album's overture, effectively making me want to listen to it again and turning it into a delicious cycle)

Let's grindstone. I'll be busy with a big project at work until the 17th, and then a two-person feeling-out thing with the "new system" after that. If all goes well. None of this is stuff I need to take home with me, it's just hard given all the uprooting and swirling going on here. I'm officially in the burning out part of my job life cycle and... well what do you know, this is about the time I have left every job that has lasted this long. But I'm starting to fill a certain niche of expertise, design and editing and content management and technology and technique (woo, i'm officially the office's #2 source for GREP expertise).

Let's take a day off. Monday is Labory Day. Fuck yeah.

Let's shut up. I wrote too much.
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    Rococo rococo rococo


Woo, what a two weeks. I just got home, sans-Cranberry, who is staying for another week to hang out with the girls. I'll get her next weekend.

I'm a little down to be recapping it all! But I did manage a nifty series of doodles that are on the sketchborg. It was hot though, over 100 every day whether I was in Texas or Oklahoma. I'd like to thank the hell out of Deputy Pup, Mitch Kenzo, Smokescale, Kyo Foxtrot, Zapnut Shakur, and FenrirSabre for being wonderful hangout partners. Cranberry's entire family, even you nutty wingers in OK for putting us up. Corey and Merleyn for the couple hours of joy; I miss y'all. The entire city of Arlington for still being there and making me a little nostalgic even though you change constantly.

Fades, Dep loved the hula dog, if he hasn't said so already!

I don't wanna go back to work.
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various returns to lands of the living

Ho! Okay, so the smaller book is going to press tomorrow, and I can probably end this "omg i am totally going to be back on track starting xxxsday" cycle that I've been in. I keep working on the little milestones, and the big picture evades me. The big picture is that work never ends... after this, there is the directory to take care of. Then the inventory. And my one true remaining coworker admits to looking around for jobs. I didn't admit that I had been thinking about it, though with no time to do so. But at least we won't be under so much pressure come Tuesday. And the boss is taking us for a fancy-schmancy lunch at The Carillon.

Also, I keep taking commissions and trades. I tell myself that I'm gonna not do that, that I'll get caught up on my personal stuff, start doing more of my own ideas, and then a note appears that sounds SO CUTE.

This week: FAT BUNNY WEEK. Good god I love you FA. So right off the bat, I abandon the commission I'm working on, and start drawing an avatar for myself. I've played around with a dopey blob of a bunnuki character before, so I know the details. Dumb grin, floppy but not lopeared ears. Same colors, same chocolate habit.

Then I answer a plea from Amara that she wants to be a fat bunny. I don't think I can resist that, as much as I needed to not do so. Money's exchanged, drawing begins, my evening is consumed. I take way too long with commissions, and I suppose that's because I'm terribly cognizant of my shortcomings. What I need is practice, and not more commissions. It's hard to resist them, it's a little bit of money, it's fun drawing with a purpose.

Speaking of money!
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